There are so many things we’re happy with at home - until someone comes over. We love them as they are when we’re alone, but we become anxious when we consider if they’ll be attractive to someone else.
What’s up with that?
Kyohei Ogawa, The Selby 2013
Maybe it’s this: when we’re alone, we’re tuned into the clear frequency of our own affection. When company arrives, we start picking up static from other stations - comparison, inadequacy, judgment, status.
Nothing in our space has changed… just the thoughts we let in.
Takahiro Moriki, The Selby 2022
Here’s the thing: the parts of us we try hardest to hide are often the ones that make someone else feel at ease.
The scatter of shoes by the door, the blanket that doesn’t match the couch, the drawer of messy cables and expired batteries, the odd mug collection, the knickknacks, the quirky work of art1, the whiteboard full of notes-to-self…
Each of these offer their own form of hospitality. They say: “You’re allowed to be yourself here… you don’t have to be too careful around me… I’m OK with who I am - and you can be too.”
Bronagh Staley, The Selby 2011
Every home - and every person - has its own oddities. Freedom begins when we stop tucking them away. When we let our private loves step out into the daylight, we find that the world opens up and softens to meet them.
Kyohei Ogawa, The Selby 2013
Whenever I introduce my girlfriend to people, she gets glowing reviews. The feedback always includes: “there’s just something about her…” - and this letter is a roundabout way of articulating one of those somethings.
Vas hides very little. No matter where she is or who’s around, she carries a comforting mix of openness and strength. Her presence says: “I’m OK as I am” (which makes you feel OK as you are) and “if you want to change anything - you absolutely can” (more on that another time).
Until then,
