Box of Daydreams

A Job to Love + Vintage Travel, Ego Helium, Ansel Adams, Ways of Seeing & Eavesdropping on a First Date

Sep 07, 2025

[1.1] BACKUP_PLAN

It’s been a banner week: plenty of swimming (pull-pull-breathe1), some climbing (building finger strength is glacial), a little camping (Colorado Bend State Park, the first stop on Vas’ “birthday month” activities), and closer alignment with what might be my future, ideal career:

Note to Myself, Fall ’23: “If none of this sticks, I’m starting a traveling studio. I’ll hop around, try on different cultures/modes of living, and spread the good word about art, ways of seeing, mind-body handshakes, and outdoor religion.”

Well, here we are.

[2.1] COZY_BERTH

“I’ve always had nostalgia for those vintage trips abroad by steamship and overnight train. Their bunks are so small and contained yet accommodating. It’s wonderful to discover that the table folds away without a trace; that the drawers are built into the base of the bed; that the wall-mounted lamps are just large enough to illuminate a book. The efficiency of design is music to a young mind. It’s a precision of purpose and the promise of adventure.”

Forget hotels - when I get to Europe, I want to live in sleeper cars.

[2.2] EGO_HELIUM

When I look around, I comparatively seesaw: superior or inferior, one-up or one-down, better off or worse off than everyone else. The highs are thrilling - ego helium, ballooning up. But the real grace is when it all flattens out - the minutes when I feel level, shoulder-to-shoulder, no scoreboard, just here, with people.

[2.3] MOOD_MACHINES

Anyone else find fragrance names kind of poetic?

“Fig & Violet”
“Moroccan Amber”
“Wood Sage & Sea Salt”
“Indian Jasmine Reed”
“Peony & Blush Suede”
“Autumn Plum”

They’re tiny mood machines. A few words on a label, and suddenly you’re somewhere else. They throw a whole scene in your head before you strike a match.

I came across these incense sticks from TENNEN (天然, “nature” or “natural”) - and I couldn’t resist, had to buy them. Who wouldn’t want a little box of daydreams?

Japan Dry Garden Series:

“Wandering Moss”
“Fallen Blossom”
“Mountain Stone”

[3.1] WONDER_LAKE

“You don’t take a photograph, you make it.” Ansel Adams

[4.1] PROBLEM_SOLUTION

[4.2] LOOP_&_BLOOM

[4.3] RISK_BELIEF

My next adventure kicks off at the end of the month, but I want to get some practice in. I’ve been digging through old trips and journals, turning the scraps into the kind of travel writing I’d like to do more of: small scenes, philosophical riffs, impressionistic sketches, etc. Turns out: traveling in memory is its own kind of trip.

“Part of why we feel the need for so many new experiences may simply be that we are so bad at absorbing the ones we have had.”

[5.1] SIEM_REAP_’16

The German girls playing in the temple. My first reaction is judgment - for their lack of solemnity. My second is charm - because energy like that is sweet to witness.

Then a question sneaks in:

Would I feel the same if they weren’t beautiful?

There’s a Spanish saying:

“A los guapos se les perdona todo y a los feos no se les pasa una“ - to the handsome, everything is forgiven; to the plain, nothing is.

Looks are a lottery - random, influential, unfair. And as much as I’d like to think I’m above it: I catch myself drawn to the girls, while turning away from the woman beside me, head down, hunched over her bowl of noodles.

Which leaves me wondering…

What would it be like to see hearts first, and not be so vulnerable to the mistakes of my own senses? Sometimes I wish I had “Shallow Hal” vision - not to make beauty disappear, just to put it in its place.

[5.2] LONDON_’21

There’s a first date happening at the table in front of me. If it were just the three of us, I might excuse myself and give them the room. But the place is crowded, so I allow myself the pleasure of eavesdropping (tell me you wouldn’t listen too).

The man surprises me. He isn’t selling himself, isn’t preening or trying to impress her - he’s just laying out, in that calm, straightforward way you can’t fake, why he thinks the way he does. There’s no showmanship, and I respect that.

As he’s winding down a tidy reflection on work-life balance (a mandatory topic) - “… but I’m not sure… it’s just where I am now… I could have it wrong… what do you think?” - I see her lips part slightly, the dawn of a smile.